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Post by archwhopper on Jun 27, 2020 16:11:23 GMT
Took viagra last nite, couldn't swallow it, woke up with a stiff neck
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Post by g1 on Jun 29, 2020 22:08:54 GMT
I beat tony Orlando at dominoes last week I had an unfair advantage because he had to knock 3 times
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Post by g1 on Jun 29, 2020 22:10:01 GMT
I also beat midge ure at Scrabble mind u his last 4 letters were o v n r
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Post by Lobster on Jun 29, 2020 22:29:18 GMT
I also beat midge ure at Scrabble mind u his last 4 letters were o v n r That means nothing to me. |
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Post by Wortleyblue on Jul 6, 2020 15:40:38 GMT
A bloke 'phone's the doctor's, Say's he as developed a car buying obsession, the doc asks how many he has, the bloke says fifty. The doc says "You have car owner virus.
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Post by wxmred on Jul 9, 2020 18:47:54 GMT
I've just finished building a car using a motor from a washing machine...
I'm going to take it for a spin later!
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Post by Frank Owen’s Paintbrush on Jul 13, 2020 17:12:27 GMT
What borders on stupidity?
Scotland and Wales.
xx
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Post by Wortleyblue on Jul 13, 2020 17:32:05 GMT
What borders on stupidity? Scotland and Wales. xx Well that's certainly on the right thread  |
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Post by Lobster on Jul 14, 2020 17:49:27 GMT
A court case once took place in which a group of vol au vents were trying to sue a prawn cocktail, but all the parties started getting rowdy and argumentative. In the end, the judge banged his gavel and shouted "HORS D'OEUVRES!"
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Post by Wortleyblue on Jul 17, 2020 12:23:24 GMT
How does the moon cut his hair
Eclipse it
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Post by Frank Owen’s Paintbrush on Jul 31, 2020 11:20:20 GMT
Saudi Arabia pull out of their takeover of Newcastle so they can focus all their efforts on the ongoing takeover of Yemen.
Sadly this isn’t really a joke...
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Post by Ian H Block on Jul 31, 2020 12:37:27 GMT
Got a rescue dog from a blacksmiths, but as soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the front door.
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Post by 54321 on Aug 3, 2020 20:28:56 GMT
Took viagra last nite, couldn't swallow it, woke up with a stiff neck Take it to stop me falling out of bed |
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Post by Lobster on Aug 3, 2020 21:13:09 GMT
Kevin Bacon was in a greengrocers. He took a load of apples, oranges, bananas, pears, grapes and strawberries up to the till and tipped them over the counter.
"Ah come on!" the cashier moaned, "couldn't you have put it in bags?"
"No," said Kevin. "Everybody should get fruit loose!"
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Post by wxmred on Aug 4, 2020 16:58:58 GMT
My wife said, "You're so unromantic. I bet you don't even know what my favourite flower is."
"Is it Homepride?" I asked.
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Post by ivawhopper on Aug 16, 2020 20:18:08 GMT
Paul walked into a branch of hsbc. The cashier asked him, how can I help you? Paul replied I want to pay my bill. The cashier said QUACK.
HAHAHAHAHAHA
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 15, 2021 10:44:16 GMT
Just finished reading a really good book
Aggro on a narrow boat
By R G BARGEE.
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Post by ivawhopper on Mar 19, 2021 19:12:52 GMT
Incontinence by I.P.Freeley.
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Deleted
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Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Mar 19, 2021 19:38:06 GMT
20 years in the saddle
by major bumsaw
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Post by ivawhopper on Mar 19, 2021 22:51:33 GMT
The history of insurance.
By Justin Case.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2021 8:28:25 GMT
Over the cliffs
By Hugo first
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Post by Frank Owen’s Paintbrush on Mar 20, 2021 10:24:35 GMT
If you haven’t ever watched Curb Your Enthusiasm your life is incomplete.
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2021 10:40:07 GMT
danger
by luke out
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Mar 20, 2021 10:41:39 GMT
get moving
by sheik aleg
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Post by Lobster on Mar 22, 2021 10:35:22 GMT
"The Advantages of Shopping Online" by Freda Livery
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Post by cityboy5705 on Mar 22, 2021 11:30:54 GMT
A couple of bad jokes the England rugby team and British trained horses at Cheltenham
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Post by Lobster on Apr 18, 2021 9:30:22 GMT
What do you call a playwright with a paper bag down his pants?
Willy Russell
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Post by 54321 on Jul 4, 2021 17:23:52 GMT
Jokes about white sugar are rare
Jokes about brown sugar...Demerara.
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Post by Frank Owen’s Paintbrush on Jul 4, 2021 19:22:02 GMT
I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know why.
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Post by Frank Owen’s Paintbrush on Jul 4, 2021 19:22:30 GMT
Why did the man knock on the fridge door before opening it?
There might’ve been a salad dressing.
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